Well, That's OK Then

Here's yet another rendition of Quick Takes that aren't on a Friday. And there might be more than 7 because I am winging it.

1. The CBC came back and I'm slightly anemic. So that's ok. I hadn't been taking my supplements lately and they really do make a world of difference. 
   
2. Saturday was spent at my friend's house helping with her yard sale. I came away with a vanload of mostly fun things. The older boys have been playing chess ever since. So that's Ok.
3. The Rose is cutting a bajillion teeth. Exactly a bajillion. Which means velcro baby. I guess that's ok.

   

   This is a little like what nursing has become.

4. I think my oldest daughter suddenly doesn't live here anymore. I think she may have just given me notice. I thought she was going to at least be here until the 24th, but hey, you know. It's not like she's moving in with strangers. And really? That's ok.

   

   Cathy Heck drew this. I think it fits.

5. My job at the lighting store may possibly become a regular WAHM gig. That would be superbly ok.

   

   Gosh I'm pretty.

6. The Shaklee business is getting an overhaul- less hobby, more business. Expect a phone call. Also, I'm removing the Barefoot Bandana association and renaming it: "Honeyridge Health and Wellness". I hear it's run by a pretty amazing mommy. You should go like it on Facebook. That would be ok by me.
7. I think I actually had 7 but I got distracted and now my butt's asleep. It's really nice outside, get to playin', yo.

Oh, hey, check it out! Jen's still got the link up open. 

So What Then...?

By now, if you're in common circles with me, you've heard about or read Allie's latest post at Hyperbole and a Half. I don't know this girl, but I knew she was in trouble with this post in October of 2011. Occasionally I'd think about her, hoping she was okay, because I knew. I knew it as sure as the sun rises and sets every day.

Because I have been there. A lot.

Her post evokes and illustrates in her usual way with elementary clarity every moment of every day in the life of a person battling major depression. I wanted to reach out to her, to hug her close, and to tell her that there is a hand reaching out of the darkness, but with the hundreds of people that contact her how could she ever hear my voice?

But I am glad she found her kernel of corn. Sometimes that is all it takes. One, tiny, redeeming thing that reminds us that can overcome the weight. Because depression is so heavy.

Usually, I don't realize I am depressed until I'm where she was. Really late in the game. So I am trying  to figure out where I am at the moment.

Taking stock: I don't feel unhappy. I am admittedly overwhelmed, frustrated, and tired a lot more lately. Yet I am not *unhappy*. I am so grateful for my kids and our little home and our neighbors and my friends... I am grateful for the challenges having children with special needs brings. I'm grateful for the part time job and even though the monthly paycheck is nice I'm more grateful for the fact that the job ends soon.

Yet I cannot find the energy to do more than the very minimum. The house is a wreck. Am I sick? The doctor ordered a CBC, so maybe. I try to catch sleep when I can and that is a symptom of depression- but I am not sad. I'm frustrated that I don't have the energy to do things with my kids and I feel guilty about it, but it's not depression.

My head hurts a lot, but I figured it's because of all the rain we've been having.

5 negative pregnancy tests would indicate that all of these early pregnancy symptoms I have are not, in fact, a pregnancy. Likely it's the baby's change in eating habits (more food, less me). (Watch the CBC return with an elevated hcG level...)

Maybe it's my age.

Maybe it's my weight.

You know what I need? 72 hours of no kids in the house. It would be so clean and weaned and organized- until they came home. But if I could somehow re-boot this house I think that would be one less thing to be overwhelmed by.

Ok I have gone into full-on ramble mode. Have a wonderful spring weekend! I am going to nap... Seriously. This is what exhausts me.

Everything.

7QTs: The Middle

I hadn't planned on doing this tonight. I might not even make it up to 7. But here goes:

1) The kids get what we call "Ten Minutes of Light" before bedtime- a chance to be in bed reading or playing quietly with a toy to help unwind before sleep. Somehow, TMOL ended up out here with crayons and paper. Meh, ok. They're quiet. This is good.

2) The Middle, who typically tries everything he can to be a part of the "group", instead sat on his own and came up with his own drawing.

3) This drawing had more detail than usual:

Sky, sun, clouds, a rainbow, a little guy under the rainbow, the ground, soil, and the grass- in that order.

4) My favorite part of the picture? This:

5) That little man right there? Guess who?

6) Yeeeeah. 

7) Please to file this 7QTs under "Wake Up Call" subtext "go outside and play".

For more Quick Takes dance on over to Jen's place.

Theme Thursday: Play

Certainly not the best quality,
definitely the best representation.

 After a week that involved articles like this creepy piece I was woken up around 7 this morning to someone's mouth ridiculously close to my ear hissing, "Mommy, it's my birthday."

Well, yes it is. Are we celebrating? Not until tomorrow. But because today is the official day he gets to do just about anything he wants which will likely involve as much time on PBS Kids as possible.

Since there is not currently a functioning camera in the house I'm posting a picture that I think captures Clan-Donaldson's theme-o-the-week as well as Mr. Five Years Old Already?'s personality pretty well.

If you have a camera and/or pictures of play, you ought to join us in the link-up. It's like a Time-Life magazine featuring the wonders of our little worlds.

Theme Thursdays: Sky

Johnson Water Park
7/18/12

This boy. He's about to be FIVE. Suddenly I have two primary school kids, and that's a little weird.

This lovely sky is brought to you by summer time, water parks, and possibly even thunderstorms the next day.

Clan-Donaldson's got more wide open spaces- click here!

'Roids

I don't normally pay attention to my spam but this one made me giggle:

I mean seriously? How does spambot make the jump from boys to curing hemorrhoids??

Theme Thursday: Boys

There might be a shortage of cameras here in the house, but we are definitely not lacking in today's theme. 

Head over to Clan-Donaldson for some sweet pics and share yours!!